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For Moms Dealing with Narcissists
If you are a mom having to co-parent with a narcissist or a mom in a high-conflict custody battle, you will find yourself having to do many, many things. We learn to become masterful, multi-tasker moms. We are juggling so many balls at once from the moment we wake up that it can feel like having a hundred jobs, all with one name: “mom.” It can be a downright overwhelming challenge, but challenges, stress, and struggle can all make us stronger. We learn to endure, be resilient, and overcome. We don’t just go through this, we grow through this! If we feel maxed out, we can simplify our lives and make different choices to better our, and our children’s, well-being. Choice is our fundamental power and it stems from having a healed mind and healthy self-esteem.
Here is a list of some things we must do as moms in this problematic/difficult situation.
Stay stable (in all ways, especially financially).
Stay sane (amid a narcissist’s insanity, drama, and personality disorder).
Grieve the loss of the relationship and the family we wished we had.
Heal from narcissistic abuse and trauma while watching our children be abused.
10 Factors To Consider If / When Switching Lawyers
As worried and stressed-out moms, we often run (or rush) to a lawyer and dump all of our concerns, anxieties, complaints, pain, and problems. Most likely we’ve never been in a legal battle since it’s not our nature to fight for fairness or complain to such a degree. We might feel intimidated talking to a lawyer. We might feel ashamed since we are peace-seeking and peace-making, type of people. Typically, us empaths, have accepted unacceptable behavior and are filled with the anger of dealing with injustice and constant unfairness. Our first battle, breaking up with the narcissist, wore us out mentally, emotionally, and physically. Now we have a second legal battle that looms over our heads and haunts us. Can you relate?
We have had to break up with our own codependency, love addiction, and trauma bonds to our ex to recover ourselves and self-esteem. Then, we had to grieve our dreams of a happy family and face the pain of the lies, disappointments, and letdowns. Generally, we are not in good emotional shape when we get to the lawyer. We are heartbroken, scared to lose our children, and narcissistically abused with threats—and other tactics. Now that we left our abuser, he most likely is doing co-parenting abuse tactics that further hurt and destabilize us. How are we supposed to show up strong and confident at a lawyer’s office? What do we even ask the lawyer? We don’t know the law.
Don’t Allow Yourself To Become Desperate For A Lawyer!
Custody Battles With A Narcissist
As women and moms, we can’t allow ourselves to be (or become) desperate for two major things: 1. Love 2. Lawyers. Being needy, confused, overwhelmed, and full of grief and pain can cause us to reach for anyone who will lend a listening ear and help. Narcissists love to prey on desperate people. As women who were desperate for love and attention, we may have inadvertently attracted a narcissist. The same is true for hiring a lawyer. We have to watch out for making desperate emotional decisions when it comes to hiring a lawyer and going to family court. I am here to share my survivor wisdom with you. (*Disclaimer below)
It's NOT wise to approach our custody cases from a state of desperation. We need to plan.
How To Survive a Custody Battle with a Narcissist: When the Family Courts Force You to Co-Parent
Have hope that you can overcome this dilemma with knowledge, the right focus, and tools—and come out of this stronger than before.
After over a decade of struggle, in intolerable co-parenting conditions, Grace found ways to use what she refers to as “skillful means” to divert her narcissistic ex’s anger. Courageously, she stepped into her rights and power using several support systems and targeted tools. Combining this with her legal strategies, she was able to reach a place of peace for her and her child to thrive. Now, she shares with her readers what it took to achieve a level of fairness and protection for her and her young child.
In this book, you will get Grace’s tips, tools, and strategies. Plus:
Get The Right Lawyer Guide (including a 20-Question-Worksheet to use & print)
What To Include In A Court Order (a complete list)
How To Communicate With A Narcissist Using Skilful Means
Legal Strategies For Family Court
And more!
If you are ready to learn, Grace is ready to teach!
What To Put In An Agreement Or Court Order When Dealing With A Narcissist
Narcissists Are Very Difficult Co-Parents
Are you sick of filing motion after motion? You’re not alone. Do you feel terrified that you will have to go back to court over and over and have to face the narcissist each time until your child/children are eighteen years old!? Your fears are valid. However, have hope because you can take proactive steps by making a lengthy agreement or getting a comprehensive court order that can address problems before they arise.
Creating an all-inclusive, highly detailed list of parenting directions and also adding necessary clauses that spell out preventative measures will be arduous. But you can view this agreement–even if it needs to be twenty to thirty pages long–as one of the sources of your power and protection for you and your family.
3-Part Strategy For Dealing with Narcissists as Co-Parents
Dealing with a narcissist as a co-parent?
Feel like you are going crazy?
Read or watch my . . .
3-Part Strategy for Co-Parenting and Custody Battles With A Narcissist
Establishing a Game Plan for Peace & Peace of Mind
The Narcissistic Co-Parent Can Be Navigated
Narcissists can be nasty. They can be especially difficult when they are triggered, angry, or lacking in “narcissistic supply”. So, it’s essential to have a plan in place for dealing with whatever comes your way. The GreyRock Method (being as boring as a grey rock) doesn’t always work and, further, it doesn’t work for everything. This means we have to put our own strategies in place for dealing with a narcissist. We need a plan because we have to navigate the narcissist. This is self-work that we have to do to get strategic.
Legal Strategies I Used in Family Court In A Custody Battle With A Narcissist*
As a protective mom, I suffered for eleven years in the U.S. Family Court System. In one battle, I lost my rights to my ex – an angry, bitter, wealthy narcissist who used the most expensive bulldog attorney to attack me as a way of defending himself. It was a 5-day trial that spanned two years and took three and a half years to get to. The saga was full of motions, pre-trial hearings and multiple requests for continuances. The truth is, I found the family court to be like a game of chess. He moves, you move. You move, he moves. It comes down to strategy and thinking long-term. Sometimes you lose a pawn but you protect the queen. Sometimes you lose a knight (inadequate attorney) but save the child. In order to be effective at this high-stakes game of family chess, I had to have adequate representation –someone seasoned who knew this legal game well.
We have to think both short-term and long-term.
How To Communicate With A Narcissist Using Grace’s Skillful Means
How To Communicate With A Narcissist Using Skillful Means
11 Super-Helpful Tips
From the author of Co-Parenting with a Narcissist: 7 Self-Rules To Stay Sane,
(available at Amazon)
by Grace W. Wroldson - Author & Strategy Coach for Moms
How Communication with a Narcissist Fails
As a mom trying to co-parent with my ex — an angry narcissist — I found myself failing to get my message through to him.
5 Factors That Made The Narcissist Stop!
5 Factors That Can Make A Narcissist Stop
From the author of, Co-Parenting with a Narcissist: 7 Self-Rules to Stay Sane
By Grace W. Wroldon - Author & Strategy Coach for Moms
Do you feel attacked?
Are you in a psychological battle with a narcissistic ex?
Have you been dealing with co-parenting abuse?
You feel stuck. You’re forced to co-parent with a narcissist. It feels like having your own personal terrorist.
Tips for Holidays With A Narcissistic Co-Parent
3 TIPS to Survive The Holidays with a Narcissist
Be 1 Step Ahead of the Narcissist *
This Holiday Season
THE . . .
NOT-SO-FUN-FACT:
Narcissists love to ruin holidays.
Hi! I’m Grace Wroldson, author of Co-Parenting with a Narcissist: 7 Self-Rules to Stay Sane & strategy coach for moms co-parenting with a narcissist and/or in custody battles.
I am here to help support you - as you keep yourself safe, your children happy, and *very important* your sanity - when dealing with a narcissistic co-parent.
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