How-To Prepare for Family Court When Dealing with a Narcissist

Going to Family Court with Your Narcissist Ex?

Here are 25 Winning-Things That I Established to Endure!

“If you are ready to learn, I am ready to teach!”

—Grace W. Wroldson – Author and Strategy Coach for Moms

From the author of,

Book 1: Co-Parenting with a Narcissist: 7 Self-Rules to Stay Sane
Book 2: How To Fight a Narcissist In Family Court and Win
Book 3: Co-parenting with a Sociopath: Survival and Sanity Guide
Book 4: How To Survive a Custody Battle with a Narcissist:
When the Family Courts Force You to Co-Parent (Available at Amazon)

Family Court is Stressful for Protective Moms Dealing with Narcissists

The stress of family court can mentally, emotionally and physically exhaust us caring moms trying to protect young, vulnerable children from narcissistic abuse. (Read my FREE Best Tips Blog) Typically, we moms are not lawyers, paralegals, or in a “fighting profession” of society. But rather, we are nurses, caregivers, teachers, and other helpers. We want protection, peace, and purpose. We want to be cooperative co-parents while loving and mothering our children—helping them grow into healthy, happy, whole, and functional adults. Generally, we don’t want to fight and go to court, unless it’s to fight for our children’s well-being and/or safety.

So when faced with family court battles, motions, pre-trials, hearings, investigations, psych-evals, and court trials, we are like fish out of water. It’s definitely not our happy place! Family court is not a healthy place for us to be in regularly, but if we are forced to co-parent with a narcissist, it tends to be a place we visit often—to our dismay, but sometimes to our hope. Sometimes, in some cases, we feel relieved that we can go to court and ask the judge for protections for our children. To endure this, we can learn strategies to cope, as well as, prepare and plan for the stresses of family court. We can learn tools and get some creative ideas to make this easier for us and our lawyers to deal with our custody case.

Needing a Family Law Lawyer for the Fight

Due to the legal complexity and excessive stress, I encourage moms to seek, find, and retain a top, family law, lawyer (use my Get The Right Lawyer Guide). Getting legal representation is empowering and very important. I urge moms to get other support people firmly in place for this highly emotional battle so that they don’t use up their legal retainer on the tactics of the narcissist by calling their lawyer so much. We have to be smart about who we go to and what for. We need mentors, coaches, therapists and counselors to help us navigate through this. As I say, getting help and assistance is a sign of strength, not weakness. The fact is when we are going to family court, we are not just up against a fueled, fired-up, energized narcissist looking for a win, we are also up against their “shark” of an attorney or one with few ethics. Imagine being a caregiver-person, walking into a fight with a vicious lawyer and a vexatious litigant. Sounds unbalanced, uneven, and unfair, right? Well, it is. So be smart and get the team you will need in place (ahead of time).

You can read my story of wins and losses in the U.S. Family Court in my blogs: Family Court Failures For Protective Parents and What’s it Like to Lose in Family Court to a Narcissist?

But what I want to share with you today is practical tools, tips, and strategies. This is my survivor-wisdom from enduring over a decade-long family court battle with a narcissist. Today, I teach what I call my Skillful-means Method and how to navigate around the narcissist, as well as neutralize the narcissist, because family courts are leaning towards 50/50 everything as a standard—even if it doesn’t make sense. Custody battles, divorces, and cases with narcissists tend to be high-conflict and the courts don’t seem to realize it takes only one parent to create that awful, high-conflict situation. Abusers abuse—even outside of the relationship in what I call, “Co-Parenting Abuse.” Lengthy family court cusoty cases are typically domestic violence (DV) cases in disguise. What protective moms are subjected to is really post-separation abuse for us moms who finally broke free of the narcissist (and his abuse) but are now forced to co-parent with our abuser—thus being further abused in family court. It’s our insane reality. The courts and judges want to hear the words “cooperation” and “co-parenting” when we actually have to “parallel-parent” in most cases.

25 Winning-Things That I Established to Endure a Custody Battle with a Narcissist

Please read my “Disclaimer” below because this is mom-to-mom peer support and I can’t (and don’t) give legal advice or any specific advice/guidance on your case. Each case is vastly different and complex so you will need a tailored approach using a competent, family-law attorney (and a support team who knows the history and details of your case). Here is what I had to do for myself to be ready, prepared, strong, and stable for family court.

I read the agreements and court orders fully—myself! I didn’t just rely on my attorney to tell me everything because they are only human too (and can miss things). When the judge or courts issue an order, I was sure to read it in full. Several times. Why? Because there were things that my lawyer didn’t always tell me that I was required to do. I learned that it’s in contempt to not follow the court order to a “t.” I certainly didn’t want to be in contempt of court and lose my custody case due to ignorance. I often had to call my support team before and after to get through reading it. It tended to be emotional, triggering and hard to read orders because the courts didn’t understand this was legal abuse and my ex didn’t want more time with our child or care like he should. He just wanted “off the hook” of paying child-support and to deflect blame for child abuse/neglect.

For 24 more and my BONUS TIPS buy this guide here.

*Disclaimer: These are helpful tips based solely on the author’s thoughts and opinions. The author is not a qualified mental health professional nor a crisis caseworker. She cannot give legal advice or appropriate counsel and is therefore not liable for any injury or harm. Please follow your doctor’s, therapist’s, counselor’s, and lawyer’s advice, as well as your own good common sense and intuition based on your unique case—to see if these tips could be helpful. Child custody situations may vary where some of these will not be applicable for your circumstance. Furthermore, court orders may dictate otherwise. Please use your own good judgment when reviewing this document. This is for personal self-help only. These were created from the author’s own lived experience and not based on any laws or rules of the courts. This is copyright-protected by the author and is not to be sold, distributed, or quoted without the author’s written consent.

Read. Learn. Watch. Reflect. Heal. Grow & Transform!

Custody Battle Coach

HELPFUL BOOKS FOR MOMS:

“I write for moms who are forced to co-parent with narcissists and stuck in high-conflict, custody battles. If this is you, you don’t have to feel so alone! My books can validate what you may be experiencing, and give you creative ways to improve your co-parenting conditions. I include all my tips, tools, and strategies for moms to grab onto in my books.

You see… there are healthy attitudes to adopt, mindsets to make solid, sanity to hold onto, as well as, beneficial perspectives to take that can really help us endure this dilemma and survive a custody battle.

Learn all that you can because knowledge is power. Be prepared with survivor wisdom. My goal is to leave you with tidbits of wisdom with lots of encouragement. Know that you can endure and be resilient. Believe in yourself. Remember to learn the valuable lessons in this and come out smarter and stronger than before!” -xo Grace

*Suggestion: Read my book series in the order written for full understanding.

Book 1: Co-Parenting with a Narcissist: 7 Self-Rules to Stay Sane
Book 2: How To Fight a Narcissist In Family Court and Win
Book 3: Co-parenting with a Sociopath: Survival and Sanity Guide
Book 4: How To Survive a Custody Battle with a Narcissist: When the Family Courts Force You to Co-Parent Available at Amazon

Navigate Around the Narcissist & Neutralize the Narcissistic Co-Parent W/ Skills

Are you trying to co-parent with a narcissist? (Is it always a problem?)

Are you stuck in a high-conflict family court custody battle? (Does it never seem to end?)

Or worse…. Is the narcissist attempting to steal sole custody of your child? (Is the narcissist trying everything to get out of paying child support?)

Here is my: Navigate Around the Narcissist & Neutralize the Narcissist Video Program

“Hi,” Welcome to my work. I’m author Grace Wroldson and I am here to help you to,

Stop losing
Stop stressing
Start strategizing
Learn to navigate

I am here to tell you (because I have done this) that you can make a bad situation better for yourself and your children. Be sure to watch my video in this course on creating peace and maintaining your sanity! “If you are ready to learn, I am ready to teach!” This is my 11-Video Navigate the Narcissist Course.

I, personally, know how challenging and awful this can be. I am the author of several self-help books (with lots of tips, tools, and strategies included) for moms dealing with narcissists. The KEY skill that’s needed for the peace you crave is . . . *Learning to navigate the narcissist!

This means skillfully, wisely, and purposefully. Thinking both short-term and long-term using common sense, logic, understanding, and knowledge of narcissists. No, this program is not about attacking the narcissist back. My course doesn’t say defeat, annihilate, destroy, or slay a narcissist… it says NAVIGATE which is more skillful and offers a chance at peace and goodwill for you and your children!

The peace and cooperation that I have today that I want your family to enjoy. I used skillful means and there was less of a battle and less stress!

We have to learn to co-exist. Rather tough endeavors be more peaceful?

If you are a mom in this very tough situation, you will have to do many difficult things including standing up for yourself, your rights, your child, and your child’s rights. It’s not easy to do with a narcissist!

I am here to offer some emotional encouragement, hand & heart holding, wisdom, tips, tools, and effective strategies that can be employed with an attorney (who is competent and onboard). I aim to be a light in the darkness and stress of this unfair dilemma.

It comes down to doing these 3 KEY things to improve conditions and get better outcomes:

Navigating the complex, inadequate, family court system (and your lawyer)
Navigating the nasty narcissist
Navigating your fears and trauma

When I went through this, the hardest part was facing my fears, stopping/taming my natural emotional reactions to child abuse and neglect that would destabilize me mentally, and finding support people to strategize with who really understood.

Pick up one of my helpful books to read my survivor-wisdom.

I write for moms forced to co-parent with narcissists and stuck in high-conflict custody battles so they don’t have to feel so alone, can be validated in what they are experiencing, and improve their co-parenting conditions. May you learn, heal, and grow through this! And then come out stronger than before!

Read, watch, and learn—all that you can! Knowledge is power. Take your power back.”

xo- Grace Wroldson – Author & Strategy Coach for Moms

Need helpful guidance by video?

Want instant help and self-education on how to make a bad co-parenting situation with a narcissist better? Watch my new 6-week, 11-video course to get started with positive change. Designed for moms. My Navigate the Narcissist VIDEO Course is available. Watch at your own pace. (Learn to navigate around the narcissist and neutralize the narcissist.)”