Family Courts Sometimes Fail Our Children
Did You Know That There Are Numerous Family Court Failures?
National Family Court Awareness Month is in November, but we need this awareness all year long. Too often, our family courts and judges have failed us, protective mothers, by giving our child to an abuser and disbelieving us victims of domestic violence. Judges need to know what has been happening in the community they serve, as they only get to see what the high-powered, savvy attorneys allow them to see as evidence in court trials and hearings. So much of the truth is being missed. In more cases than we want to note, there’s been a total failure of a system to protect children and victims of DV. (Read my story here.)
The Fact: Family Court Is Used as a Weapon Against Us
Abusers routinely use family court as a weapon to punish their exes. This secondary abuse campaign needs to be known, prevented, and screened out in probation/mediation—in multiple steps before trials and hearings. The family court system has become a sword and not a place for fairness, justice, or child safety. It’s appalling that courts are unable to detect who the high-conflict party is, often lumping the victim into the mix. We need to raise awareness for all the mothers who have lost custody battles and for the children who get caught in the crossfire. (Read more about these common failures.)
What’s Worse? (The Child Support Battle)
Expensive attorneys have perpetuated this problem and need to be held accountable, too. Most of the time, these abusers just want to get off the hook of paying child support. Even worse is when they seek revenge by attempting to make the other parent pay them child support. Abusers do this by attempting to win full custody. Sadly, many times, this trick works! It’s happening every day across America. It’s a dirty tactic, and it needs to not only be stopped but prevented!
What’s Worse Than That? Child Safety Is Being Neglected!
Our national statistics show that over a hundred children per year are killed by the parent that the judge mistakenly placed them with following a trial. This is a complete and tragic failure of the family courts. It’s also the personal failure of the judges who are not able to detect immediate threats to children’s safety. While some courts tunnel vision on assigning parents’ rights to their children, the more important concern of a family court should be to protect the children. Child safety should come first! Money shouldn’t buy sole legal custody. Money-hungry, unethical lawyers shouldn’t help beat up an ex who is just trying to be a good, loving mother and get away from an abuser. Things need to change!
My Story as a Victim of Family Court Abuse
I am one of the victims of family court abuse by my child’s father. Each year, he continues to be litigious, filing motion after motion against me. This has resulted in financial abuse—being so broke from legal fees from defending myself. He has outright attempted using the family court to steal our child away from me to excuse himself from having to pay child support. After all his countless, senseless motions, it’s evident that he is just trying to punish me for leaving him. I have not neglected nor abused our child—like he falsely accuses me. What I see him doing is pointing the finger at me so that no one looks at him. It’s sad and disturbing that he showed no real interest in our child during the first eight years of her life, but he shows lots of interest in winning in family court. (Read more about my story.)
Let’s Raise Awareness and Change the System!
Let’s stop these abusers by making laws to prevent this horrible “hell on earth” of family court abuse. Let’s protect children from abusive parents. Let’s protect mothers and victims from being further victimized. Let’s push for family courts to establish screenings for this type of high-conflict scenario and put rules, laws, and protocols in place to stop this from happening. We need to be loud because these victims are silenced. It’s appalling that most mothers who report child sexual abuse end up losing their children—even while studies show that only the smallest 1-3% are actually false claims. This means the family courts are just another perpetrator of this horror. Educating judges is not enough due to court corruption and the danger of individual biases. We need a system of safety for mothers and children firmly in place. Let’s make our voices loud and heard!
My story? I was able to recover from loss, learn from my court mistakes, and implement skillful means with my narcissistic ex. I went on to hire a better attorney and win back much of what was lost. I even learned to stop being the Target of Blame (TOB) to the narcissist which stopped the Co-Parenting Abuse that I endured. I now give moms hope that they can “stage a comeback” (Read Bonus Tip #8 in my first book). My goal is to be a light in the darkness of this sad and very difficult dilemma for protective, loving mothers. With wisdom and support, I changed my awful circumstances, learned the lessons, became resilient, and grew stronger than before. I now have several books full of tips, tools, and strategies for moms in similar situations. (*READ DISCLAIMER BELOW) May you learn all you can from my books, blogs, and survivor-wisdom. xo
—Grace W. Wroldson, mother, survivor, thriver, certified life coach, and author of several self-help books available on Amazon
Visit me at: GraceWroldson.com
I write for moms so that they don’t have to feel so alone, can be validated in what they are experiencing, and improve their co-parenting conditions with a narcissist. Learn all that you can! Be prepared with survivor wisdom!
Book 1: Co-Parenting with a Narcissist: 7 Self-Rules to Stay Sane
Book 2: How To Fight a Narcissist In Family Court and Win
Book 3: Co-parenting with a Sociopath: Survival and Sanity Guide
NEWEST Book 4: How To Survive a Custody Battle with a Narcissist: When the Family Courts Force You to Co-Parent
HELPFUL BOOKS FOR MOMS:
READER TIP: Read my survivor wisdom in the order written—for full understanding.
Book 1: Co-Parenting with a Narcissist: 7 Self-Rules to Stay Sane (A Survivor’s Story)
Book 2: How-To Fight a Narcissist in Family Court and Win: Super-Smart Strategies for Success
Book 3: Co-Parenting with a Sociopath: Survival and Sanity Guide
Book 4: How To Survive a Custody Battle with a Narcissist: When the Family Courts Force You to Co-Parent
Books are available on Amazon and Audible!
Stay in touch! Get my FREE tips, tools, and strategies—plus valuable survivor wisdom!
MORE HELPFUL RESOURCES FOR MOMS:
- Get The Right Lawyer Guide
- How To Survive a Custody Battle with a Narcissist: When the Family Courts Force You to Co-Parent
- Co-Parenting Communication With A Narcissist – Creating Peace for Yourself and Your Child
- 20 Tips for Super Successful Co-Parenting Therapy With a Narcissist
- 3-Part Strategy For Dealing with Narcissists as Co-Parents
- How To Communicate With A Narcissist Using Skillful Means
- 5 Factors That Made The Narcissist STOP!
- Legal Strategies I Used in Family Court In A Custody Battle With A Narcissist
- What To Put In An Agreement Or Court Order When Dealing With A Narcissist
Navigate the Narcissist VIDEO Course!
Want instant help/education on how to make a bad co-parenting situation with a narcissist better? Watch my new 6-week VIDEO course to get started with positive change. Designed for moms. My Navigate the Narcissist VIDEO Course is available. Watch at your own pace.
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*Disclaimer: These are helpful tips based solely on the author’s thoughts and opinions. The author is not a qualified mental health professional nor a crisis caseworker. She cannot give legal advice or appropriate counsel and is therefore not liable for any injury or harm. Please follow your doctor’s, therapist’s, counselor’s, and lawyer’s advice, as well as your own good common sense and intuition based on your unique case—to see if these tips could be helpful. Child custody situations may vary where some of these will not be applicable for your circumstance. Furthermore, court orders may dictate otherwise. Please use your own good judgment when reviewing this document. This is for personal Self-Help only. These were created from the author’s own lived experience and not based on any laws or rules of the courts. This is copyright-protected by the author and is not to be sold, distributed, or quoted without the author’s written consent.