The Self-Love Solution for Codependents
***The following is a FREE sample from my upcoming daily reader book, The Self-Love Solution.
Begin at the Beginning:
Honor Where You Are.
“Would it shock you to discover that you are the one that you’ve been waiting for all this time?”
”So, You Love an Alcoholic?: Lessons for a Codependent” (page xl)
Have you considered that, perhaps, you haven’t been waiting for the alcoholic to stop drinking and become the hero of your life? Would it surprise you to find out that you have been waiting for yourself all this time?
I learned that ultimately, we need to call upon ourselves to change our lives if we do not like the life we are living. We don’t ask another person to do this for us. (Because that would only make us helpless victims.) Fortunately, we are equipped with a powerful inner force that runs our survival programs. Each of us possesses an internal mechanism that calls upon us to act at crucial times and asks us to respond to threats to our existence. Some of us call it our intuition, gut, instinct, spirit, inner self, Higher Self, or soul. It can range from a gentle whisper to a loud screaming yell, depending on where we are in the alcoholic-codependent relationship.
Making the Change: Codependency Recovery
(A Hero’s Journey)
When we make progress and become healthier, via Twelve Step Al-Anon Recovery and other therapies within or outside of the alcoholic relationship, we hear this voice more clearly and can follow its guidance. Then, we become healthy and firmly established in strong foundations for ourselves upon which we can rely. When we are solidly standing, we then can act bravely on our own behalf. (Read How-to Practice Tough-Love)
Next time, next crisis, when our inner voice cries out and we are healed enough, supported enough, and strong enough, we can push through our fears and answer the call—ASAP. It’s called The Hero’s Journey, in which we are here to save our own lives. No one can do this for us. We all have 365 days this year to start listening or keep listening. We can begin our life-saving journey today with a single step of courage to truly listen and honor what we hear. It’s okay if you don’t like where you are right now. You have choices. You can change. You can be somewhere else next year. A “codependent bottom” is a sacred place from which to begin. It’s a memorable, important, valuable moment of despair equal to a “Dark Night of The Soul.” We can honor this place because it’s symbolic of our transformation. It marks where we came from as we break free toward the light.
Power-Building Question of the Day:
What is your inner voice, instinct, Higher Self, intuition, spirit, or soul saying to you, right now?
Do: Write your answers to the questions below in your journal.
Pro-Tip: Answer the questions below only after you’ve had a calming, peaceful meditation session. Doing this exercise loaded with fear may only give you fearful and fear-based messages. That’s not the gold we are mining for although it can be useful as a venting session.
Making Changes (From This Day Forward):
- Can you begin listening to yourself?
- Can you develop a new habit of listening and honoring your loving and wise inner voice?
- Can you commit to listening to your own loving guidance and begin blocking out all other people’s opinions, suggestions, and doubt-causing opposition?
You might have ignored your inner voice for a long time, so be patient as she begins to speak up. When you become a safe sounding board for yourself, this voice gets reassuringly and resoundingly clearer. It’s a beautiful thing to have direct messages coming from ourselves.
—Grace W. Wroldson, mother, author, survivor, and thriver of 5 self-help books available on Amazon
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To learn 25 more powerful lessons, pick up my first book –> So, You Love an Alcoholic?: Lessons for a Codependent
For follow-up lessons to learn, buy my second book –> I Loved an Alcoholic But Hated the Drinking: 11 Essential Strategies to Survive Codependency and Live in Recovery with Self-Love
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