How Do You Document the Narcissist?
When You Are Forced to Co-Parent with One?
10+ Keys to Creating Leverage and Strategizing Against the Narcissist’s Tactics
By Grace W. Wroldson (Author & Coach)
Book 1: Co-Parenting with a Narcissist: 7 Self-Rules to Stay Sane
Book 2: How To Fight a Narcissist In Family Court and Win
Book 3: Co-Parenting with a Sociopath: Survival and Sanity Guide
Book 4: How To Survive a Custody Battle with a Narcissist: When the Family Courts Force You to Co-Parent
(Books are available on Amazon) *Suggestion: Read my book series in the order written 1-4 for a complete understanding of my true survivor-story.
Let me ask you,
- Do you know what to document – when dealing with a narcissist?
- Do you know how to document – when dealing with a narcissist?
WATCH MY FREE INTRO ON YOUTUBE
Forced to Co-Parent with a Narcissist
Welcome to my work! I teach moms to document strategically so they can keep their sanity. My motivated mom-clients get a documentation strategy in place so they don’t feel like they have to document absolutely everything. If documenting everything feels heavy, you are not alone. It’s more work we have to do—thanks to the narcissist. However, we can simplify so we don’t get too overwhelmed by having too much to do related to the narcissist. We can target the things that matter to the judge. When documenting a narcissist, we run the risk of focusing too much on the narcissist. So, there needs to be some systems and strategy in place.
KEY: Document the narcissist—strategically.
What I have seen in my private life coaching practice is: moms without guidance fall to fear. Also, the moms who underestimate the narcissist often get ambushed. Even though the narcissist shows little-to-no interest year after year in the child/children doesn’t mean he wouldn’t file for sole custody all of a sudden, or at the exact moment when you go into the hospital for surgery and he finds out. (This happened to me.)
KEY: Don’t underestimate the narcissist. Be prepared for anything with good documentation.
So, it’s smart to be prepared for anything the narcissist… continued
To BUY my FULL Documentation Guide, CLICK HERE.
Excerpt from my Documentation guide:
If you don’t know my story, I received what I describe as a total “miracle.” Miracle meaning: a shift in perception. I remember the day my 3rd attorney called me out of the blue. I was just getting out of bed for the morning. I was full-on ready to fight and do another trial in family court the following week to vindicate myself, clear my good name, and get my rights restored to my only child by a new judge who understood DV (domestic violence) issues. But instead, I got a call that said my ex, the narcissist, agreed to settle. I said, “What!? My ex?” It was hard to believe that the wealthy narcissist who refused to negotiate for 10 years suddenly wanted to settle. There had to be a catch. Him, settle? Ha! I asked, “What’s the catch!?” That’s when my new lawyer said, “He agreed to everything you wanted.” I was in shock and in disbelief. I rubbed my eyes wondering if I was dreaming and not yet awake. I asked, “Everything?” He replied. “Yes, everything including paying child support at the same amount.” I sat in stillness and silence. (Every single year for a decade, the narcissist filed to reduce or eliminate child support.) He then asked, “Should I just write this up?” I was hesitant and confused. I asked what about the added and requested stipulation of “NO drinking on his parenting time.” He said, “Yup. He’s agreed to all your requests.” I asked my lawyer, “Why all of a sudden?” My lawyer replied, “Don’t know. He must have just gotten tired.” In the last 4-Way meeting over Zoom, my ex’s new unsuspecting attorney took her client’s side and said, “No way! I won’t have my client get in trouble for having a beer on his parenting weekend.” They wouldn’t budge on the issue. What she didn’t know was we were not talking about one beer. If that were the case, this wouldn’t be brought up. Instead, we were talking about a 6-pack a day and 2 boxes of wine per night that my child was reporting to me.
I really didn’t know what to do with all the energy I had built up being ready for another family court battle. I sat stunned for an hour after we hung up. There would be no battle. I was all pumped and ready this time. I had found leverage, got a better lawyer, and got mental and emotional support to do battle. Maybe the narcissist sensed that? Or was it my boldness to force my attorney to file multiple contempts after the smug, arrogant narcissist refused to negotiate in our last negotiation 4-way? Whatever it was, I know I was operating differently and was leading with an offense not just a defense this time. I crafted my 20-Wants List and led my lawyer with that. I called my lawyer and pushed to file the 10 contempts we were sitting on for leverage and requested legal fees (to be paid by the narcissist again) right before this trial. I was using my 3-Part Strategy. I was using my Grey-Walling Method which I also call my “Castle & Curtain Strategy.” And most importantly, I was using my Skillful-Means Method. All of these strategies that I implemented for protection, peace, and claiming my rights as a parent had finally paid off. I am a big proponent of working smarter, not harder. I believe that if we moms conserve our energy, then we will have some left over to share in the joy of our children’s one-and-only childhood. I had used my lawyer strategically. I also had to be brave to stand up to the narcissist in safe, pre-planned ways. I was working with wisdom, not emotion.
…continued…
To BUY my FULL Documentation Guide, CLICK HERE.
Disclaimer: These are helpful tips based solely on the author’s thoughts and opinions. The author is not a qualified mental health professional nor a crisis caseworker. She cannot give legal advice or appropriate counsel and is therefore not liable for any injury or harm. Please follow your doctor’s, therapist’s, counselor’s, and lawyer’s advice, as well as your own good common sense and intuition based on your unique case—to see if these tips could be helpful. Child custody situations may vary where some of these will not be applicable for your circumstance. Furthermore, court orders may dictate otherwise. Please use your own good judgment when watching this video or reading this document. This is for personal Self-Help only. These were created from the author’s own lived experience and not based on any laws or rules of the courts. This is copyright-protected by the author and is not to be sold, distributed, or quoted without the author’s written consent.
Grace’s Mission for Mothers Dealing with Narcissists
I help motivated mothers who are forced to co-parent with a narcissist maintain their sanity, save their custody cases, and enjoy their children’s one-and-only childhood. I do this by teaching my 3-Part Strategy and using what I call my “Skillful-Means Method.” I share my tips, tools, and strategies (as well as my success) in my many blogs, videos and books.
I help moms get stable and be smart. It’s not just truth but wisdom (applied) that sets us fully free from the narcissist. Moms who work with me get the benefit of having more peaceful conditions and watching their children thrive from all the buffers and boundaries they put in place. I know this is painful, challenging, difficult, hard, and confusing. It’s downright a crazy-making experience to co-parent with a personality-disordered narcissist. I get it. I was there once, too. It pushed all my buttons but it also pushed me to grow. I came out stronger than before! Believe that you can better any bad situation.
Please know that you are not alone and you do not have to do this alone. I got help. I sought out lots of help and support to deal with co-parenting with a narcissist and a high-conflict custody battle. If you need 1:1 Strategy or Support Calls, that’s what I do. You can schedule a call with me on my 10-8 scheduler here: https://yvcxjudaltiqnqouqi.10to8.com
If you are willing and ready to learn, I am here to teach!
Read. Watch. Listen. Learn. Reflect. Heal. & Grow.
Xo – Grace W. Wroldson – Author & Strategy Coach
P.S. Pick up any of my books available at Amazon.
Book 1: Co-Parenting with a Narcissist: 7 Self-Rules to Stay Sane
Book 2: How To Fight a Narcissist In Family Court and Win
Book 3: Co-parenting with a Sociopath: Survival and Sanity Guide
Book 4: How to Survive a Custody Battle with a Narcissist: When the Family Courts Force you to Co-Parent
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Navigate Around the Narcissist & Neutralize the Narcissistic Co-Parent Using Skills
Here is my, “Navigate Around the Narcissist & Neutralize the Narcissist Video Program”
Are you trying to co-parent with a narcissist? (Is it always a problem?)
Are you stuck in a high-conflict family court custody battle? (Does it never seem to end?)
Or worse…. Is the narcissist attempting to steal sole custody of your child? (Is the narcissist trying everything to get out of paying child support?)
“Hi,” Welcome to my work. I’m author Grace Wroldson and I am here to help you to,
- Stop losing
- Stop stressing
- Start strategizing
- Learn to navigate
I am here to tell you (because I have done this) that you can make a bad situation better for yourself and your children. Be sure to watch my video in this course on creating peace and maintaining your sanity! “If you are willing and ready to learn, I am here to teach!” This is my 11-Video Navigate the Narcissist Course.
I, personally, know how challenging and awful this can be. I am the author of several self-help books (with lots of tips, tools, and strategies included) for moms dealing with narcissists,
The KEY skill that’s needed to create the peace you crave is . . .
Learn to navigate the narcissist!
This means skillfully, wisely, and purposefully. Thinking both short-term and long-term using common sense, logic, understanding, and knowledge of narcissists. No, this program is not about attacking the narcissist back. My course doesn’t say defeat, annihilate, destroy, or slay a narcissist… it says NAVIGATE which is more skillful and offers a chance at peace and goodwill for you and your children!
The peace and cooperation that I have today that I want your family to enjoy. I used skillful means and there was less of a battle and less stress!
We have to learn to co-exist. (Hard fact and truth.)
If you are a mom in this very tough situation, you will have to do many difficult things including standing up for yourself, your rights, your child, and your child’s rights. It’s not easy to do with a narcissist!
I am here to offer some emotional encouragement, hand & heart holding, wisdom, tips, tools, and effective strategies that can be employed with an attorney (who is competent and onboard). I aim to be a light in the darkness and stress of this unfair dilemma.
It comes down to doing these 3 KEY things to improve conditions and get better outcomes:
- Navigating the complex, inadequate family court system
- Navigating the nasty narcissist
- Navigating your fears and trauma
When I went through this, the hardest part was facing my fears, stopping/taming my natural emotional reactions to child abuse and neglect that would destabilize me mentally, and finding support people to strategize with who really understood.
Pick up one of my helpful books.
I write for moms forced to co-parent with narcissists and stuck in high-conflict custody battles so they don’t have to feel so alone, can be validated in what they are experiencing, and improve their co-parenting conditions. May you learn, heal, and grow through this! And then come out stronger than before!
Read, watch, and learn — all that you can! Knowledge is power. Take your power back.”
Need helpful guidance by video?
Want instant help and self-education on how to make a bad co-parenting situation with a narcissist better? Watch my new 6-week, 11-video course to get started with positive change. Designed for moms. My Navigate the Narcissist VIDEO Course is available. Watch at your own pace. (Learn to navigate around the narcissist and neutralize the narcissist.)
Navigate the Narcissist 11-VIDEO Online Course
https://gracewroldson.thrivecart.com/navigate-the-narcissist-course/
