3 Reasons Why Not to Use Social Media When in a Family Court Custody Battle

3 Ways That Social Media Gets Us Moms Into Trouble When Our Ex is a Narcissist
My #1 Mom-Tip
(Social Media Use & Caution)

Learn on this 20-minute video some of my best tips
Watch Video 1 on my YouTube Channel CLICK HERE:

Dear Mom Reading This,
As I type this blog article today, I have deleted my personal Facebook account. Yes, you read that right. I did. To my dismay, the deletion effort took all morning. It was challenging for me to figure out how to delete my Facebook account. It was harder than I imagined! The bottom line is: it’s just too risky and too potentially compromising of a social media account for me to use safely (with my real identity) because my ex is a narcissist. Can you relate? Even though I successfully negotiated with a narcissist and got everything I wanted in our new agreement (now court-ordered) by using skillful means, my memory of our 12-year U.S. family court battle (legal abuse), is still fresh in my mind. For me, in my situation, social media still holds too much risk for me to use safely with my real name and information. Why? Any of my data leaked into the narcissist and his lawyer’s hands could spell trouble! If you haven’t figured it out by now, narcissists are highly triggered and never happy with their lot in life. I teach moms how to “fly-under-the-narcissists-radar” and not become a blip (target) on their screen. In my experience, a personality disordered person is personality-disordered, and not worth upsetting in any way, shape or form. NOTE: I found a small exception to this. If my lawyer says he needs evidence and an example of the abuse, non-cooperation, or his true character for a hearing or trial to expose him to the judge, I tread carefully around the narcissist. SurThriver Tip: Make sure the narcissist isn’t doing this to you, right before a hearing or a trial—and getting you to put into writing all your thoughts, feelings, and rage. It has the potential to make us look bad even though it’s just a snapshot and we were probably provoked. Guard your thoughts and feelings. Get support and someone safe to vent to.

Can Social Media be Used Against Us Protective Moms in Family Court?
Yes. Sometimes. Evidence is evidence. Are you prepared? Do you have a plan? Are you documenting the narcissist while safeguarding your custody case? Have you been careful? Whether social media will be allowed in your family court depends. (Read some real-life examples below.) Wisdom says: It’s best not to take this risk. *Please read my disclaimer below.
Are you on social media?
Are you in a custody battle with a narcissist?
Do: Be part of the solution and step out of creating problems with the narcissist by refraining from using social media. Be the healthy, mature, adult parent. (This is what child-therapists, GALs, judges, and other court professionals like to see.) Use self-restraint. Plan ahead (like, NOW!) to protect your case. It’s smart to use caution around ANY social media use.

Sur-Thriver Tip: BE CAREFUL, NOT CARELESS!

From one survivor to another, please consider these tips:

  • Be careful!
  • Protect your case!
  • Safeguard info!
  • Don’t vent/share your opinions, thoughts or feelings publicly!
  • Have boundaries!
  • Set rules & limits!
  • Eliminate weaknesses and what can potentially be used against you!
  • Keep pictures safe!

NOTE: You may be a proud momma but think twice about posting your and your child’s achievements openly online. This isn’t just about child-identity and safety. Narcissists have a personality disorder and are often pathologically jealous. If you are using my skillful means methods to improve co-parenting conditions, you know that you don’t want to poke, prod, or push a narcissist. If provoked, or ego-bruised, they may file motions in court to try to repair their fragile ego. Remember that your success tends to mean “competition” to them—even if it shouldn’t be this way. Learn to accept reality and live accordingly. Always remember who you are required to co-parent with. We must be mindful if we are mistakenly projecting our own thinking on the narcissist. They don’t think like us empaths!

Practice Self-Protection on Social Media When Dealing with a Narcissist

It’s wise to self-protect when in a custody battle with a narcissist. Keep in mind that even if you aren’t in a battle now, you might be someday. Often social media posts that anger the narcissist, can actually cause the narcissist to file motions in family court or seek revenge (or retaliate in an unhealthy way). I have seen this in my private coaching practice. My goal is to offer an alternative perspective that leads to peace. If social media is involved, it’s harder to help moms find a way out of the mess and madness. I find it best not to get on the narcissist’s radar. Nowadays, we skillfully fly under the narcissist’s radar for self-preservation purposes. It’s smart to practice good healthy boundaries with ourselves. We can’t rely on others to keep our case safe. We need to have self-restraint when posting on Facebook, Instagram, X, and other online platforms. Just because it says the group is “private” doesn’t mean his mother, girlfriend, or sister didn’t join to watch you report back to him. People can take screenshots of things, even if you can’t share the post. There’s no way for admins or moderators to know who is who and keep your case safe. Ensuring safety is up to us. Quite often, we see narcissists recruit people with a sob story and elicit pity in others—who then just want to help the poor guy (without knowing all the truth and details).

Watch out for accidentally divulging these 3 things to a narcissist on social media. Narcissists love to find dirt on their victims and use it against them. Remember: They are toxic blamers.
Data
Info/Intel
Details

Do: Safeguard your custody case. Don’t share anything about you, your job, your family OR THE KIDS, and risk having social media posts and comments used against you! (Certainly don’t over-share!)

Sur-Thriver Tip: Give the narcissist nothing!

(Learn my Grey-Walling Strategy in my newest book Tame the Narcissist (on Amazon).)

Self-Check in:

  • Are your posts triggering MORE problems with the narcissist?
  • Are you inadvertently triggering the beast’s:
    Jealous streak?
    Competitive nature?
    Anger?

Keep in mind that narcissists like to win and don’t like to lose. Posting a picture of your new boyfriend acting like a great father figure can enrage a narcissist to act, file motions in court, make false claims against you, and worse. IF the narcissist’s family mentions this to him, he will do things to save face and deal with a bruised ego. (I have seen this happen to some of my mom clients.) Living “out-loud” may not be such a good idea when you are in the midst of family court troubles with a narcissistic ex—or even if you have a narcissistic ex who is absent from the children’s lives.

Social Media Stoppers

There are pros and cons to social media for us protective moms who are required to co-parent with a narcissistic ex. There are certainly advantages and right ways to utilize social media. However, there are BIG risks. I had social media used against me in a U.S. family court custody battle. I was surprised, appalled, and shocked. I had no idea the evidence was coming, nor that I was being stalked online by my ex. It turns out he had flying monkeys and minions looking for information to help in his custody battle. He recruited family and friends. And not all of these people were on my Facebook “blocked” list. Nowadays, people can create fake accounts and watch your profile picture and what groups you like and join and join those too. Be super careful!

When I poll my moms groups, I find out that they TOO had social media posts used against them. Some moms even successfully used social media against a narcissist in family court. This has become all-too-common. Here are some things to keep in mind.

On the internet and world wide web:
Your information is not always private—even if you have blocked your ex
Your posts can be screenshotted and printed (and potentially submitted as evidence and trial exhibits)

I caution moms NOT to use social media for posting about their lives. I write and speak in a pen name to protect all involved in my case. I don’t give advice other than to get legal advice from a competent family law lawyer and to get safe professional support to help you endure. But, here are 10 don’ts to keep in mind.

Don’t post when angry
Don’t post your drama, trauma, and chaos
Don’t brag (this is often how moms get into trouble by highlighting their good parenting)
Don’t post about your ex – even if he deserves all your hate
Don’t give away case details or your strategy
Don’t comment about how your case is similar and give your details in comments
Don’t post how wonderful your life is (you would be surprised how this triggers a narcissist)
Don’t like posts that talk negatively about your ex (seen this!)
Don’t repost things that are against the other parent
Don’t post your struggles with your kids (even if they are typical age-related things)

Due to the sensitive nature of a custody battle or the threat of a future family court war with a narcissist, a wise mom needs to have all social media restricted and limited. If you can create an alternative profile to just use to view local info and business, that might be okay. Depends. Depends on how tempted you are to post (even anonymously) your REAL feelings about things and then have this all traced to you as a mom. Sur-Thriver Tip: Get a trusted therapist, DV counselor, sponsor or coach for regular weekly venting sessions.

As a protective mom who endured a 5-day family court trial with my narcissistic ex (and to my surprise who had social media used against me in the trial), and as a mom who now helps other moms in custody battles with narcissists as a strategist and coach, I caution all moms to ONLY post anonymously—if they are going to post at all. What’s a better idea than this? Using something other than their real named account or NOT using social media at all (except for reading news, staying in the loop of children’s sports, and similar items). I get it. We are social creatures. We want to stay connected. We want to share. But if we are in a custody battle with a narcissist, the threat and risk can be too great to take chances on social media use. Even anonymous posting has risks because people can join your same pages and groups and figure you out.

  • It’s smart to…
    Restrict yourself!
    Limit yourself!
    Put serious boundaries in place with your online activity!
    Place barriers to your real identity!
    Don’t use social media for posting, liking, following or subscribing!
    Delete your account—if applicable!
    Create a different account that gives nothing identifying about you!
    Don’t use your real traceable name!

NOTE: Making a fake or created account that likes all local restaurants and children’s sports can be easily identifiable based on activity. Be mindful of this. For example: If you work at a local bakery and your kid does a local team soccer and you like, follow, post and share—people can figure out it’s you! Please don’t assume that posts you make with a fake name can’t be traced or tracked back to you and your IP address. If someone thinks it’s you, they can “social media stalk” you and find out what you are posting and saying! On some online platforms, others can see what you are liking and following, too!
Can Social Media Be Used Against the Narcissist in Family Court?
Yes. Sometimes. Depends on your lawyers overall strategy and other details of your unique case. Here are some questions to ask yourself…

  • Does it prove a point?
    Is it child-related?
    Are you organized?
    Does your lawyer know how to submit this evidence?
    Does your judge allow this?
    Are you taking screenshots in case the link goes away?
    Are you too narcissist focused?
    Will it make you look bad to use social media evidence?

My guidance to moms is to be the more mature party and stay out of high-conflict drama and social media stuff (so as to not get lumped in as part of the “high-conflict”). We want to let the narcissist stand out in this case as the problem-parent by highlighting his pattern of behavior. This can help the narcissist expose himself all by himself. I say, and suggest that moms document strategically. (Use my guide here.)

For our memory, it’s best to keep logs of things. I suggest having a Google folder and being able to label this stuff. (with a new Chromebook and a separate email in case the narcissist has an old computer and can access your Google Drive) Learn to label the narcissist tactic. Is it a false allegation? Character assassination attempt? Lie? What’s he doing SPECIFICALLY? When I coach moms going through this we document strategically so that we have 1-20 examples of lies (dates, times) but we talk to a family-law lawyer first to know what our judge hates to see a party doing—and target that issue. (Be smart, get legal guidance if you are heading to court. Use my “Get the Right Lawyer Guide” here.

How-To Get the Right Lawyer When Dealing With A Narcissist?
Dear Brave Mom, Go in prepared! Use my 20-Question Worksheet in this guide to interview potential attorneys, get your burning questions answered, and maximize your legal consultations. Go into these interviews with a short, specific list and know what to ask. Certain things matter in your child support and custody case. The reality is that quite often, our custody case is ONLY as good as our attorney! Be smart about this. We encourage you to be prepared.
Use my…
Get The Right Lawyer Guide! (For Dealing a Narcissist)
https://gracewroldson.gumroad.com/l/LawyerGuide

How To Document the Narcissist When You Are Forced To Co-Parent
https://gracewroldson.gumroad.com/l/howtodocumentanarcissist

Social Media Limits

Suggestion: If you’re going to use social media, ONLY use it limitedly, or be extra safe and don’t use social media.

(What?) I know, it’s a paradox. I suggest using it for evidence and if the kids are young and vulnerable to somewhat keep track of the narcissist’s social media, but don’t use it for our own posting. For example, don’t post pictures of the kids with your new boyfriend that then his mom screenshots and posts on her page. Remember that pictures don’t have to be shared online to be shared to others. (Anything made private on a page of yours can be screenshotted and reposted.) It’s smart to have some social media usage for things that can help your case and keep your kids safe.

Social Media Cautions:

Caution 1. Don’t use social media using your REAL NAME. (Or you put yourself at risk.) Anything, absolutely anything, can be twisted and turned to support a lie of a narcissist. I have seen where moms watch the narcissistic mom’s post and find that the kids are out of state on their dads time (against the order) because the background has the sign of the state park. I have seen where pictures of kids at family parties show the children near a dangerous sexual predator abuser uncle on dad’s time where the court order prohibits this explicitly. Be careful. Remember the above: Use for your child-protection purposes, but don’t use social media.

Caution 2: Don’t overly focus on the narcissist. Focus on your child’s needs and your parenting, your healing, and gathering a team of support. Don’t wake up to watch the narcissist living his life out loud on social media. This can make you obsessed and ruin your day, mood, thoughts, year and even life. Narcissists tend to always get new “supply” in the form of vehicles, houses, new girlfriends and exotic trips/vacations.

Caution 3. Remember that generally narcissists are easily triggered, pathologically jealous, naturally competitive, and often obsessed with their targets of blame and exacting revenge on them. Don’t be an easy, open target and mistakenly trigger the beast. If your ex really is a narcissist then he suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder and it’s not wise to push, poke, prod a disordered person. You will get disorder from a disordered person. And they are toxic! Be smart, safeguard your custody case.

Caution 4. Use a lawyer to know how much social media should be used in your hearings and trial. You need a gauge of if too much social media evidence shows you as a social media high conflict stalker! (Or an other-parent focused party.) There needs to be a balance. Whatever you have as evidence needs to rise to the level of concern for a judge (not just us moms). And it needs to be presented well using an attorney who knows the rules of evidence and has a strategy. Most lawyers should screen for if the social media is 1. Relevant 2. Child related. 3. Court Order significant. (Read some of my legal strategies here.)

Legal Strategies I Used in Family Court In A Custody Battle With A Narcissist
https://gracewroldson.gumroad.com/l/LegalStrategiesIUsedinFamilyCourtInACustodyBattleWithANarcissist

One other anonymous mom cautioned…
“My lawyer asked if either of us had said anything spiteful of the other parent on social media. Lawyers sometimes ask for this. Also, if you find that he and his parents post things like you are trying to keep the kids from him—it may not help his case.”

Here are what a few anonymous moms posted in my private Facebook group.

“My narcissist-ex tried using my social media posts against me. My attorney had them thrown out because they were considered hearsay.”

“My nex tried to in my case and they didn’t care.”

“My narcissistic ex tried a few times to use my social media against me— even did a PowerPoint presentation on it, but since it was a public profile and I only reposted stuff (but never commented), our judge didn’t even read it—or at least said he didn’t. Actually, our judge seemed annoyed by it.”

“Social media evidence has to help strengthen a case, so be careful in just relying on it solely. Some lawyers and judges may find it irrelevant if it was long ago. It’s good to hold onto in case though.”

“You can use social media against the co-parent for exposure but tread lightly. Unless it is substantial it is easily seen as petty, not child-focused, and misleading (since it is just a snapshot and we all know socials are not real life to a degree)…”

“Honestly who knows if social media will help or hurt your case… you can always bring it up but you’ll never know what they will do with it. My brother has a screenshot from the narcissist saying, “let’s kill the baby momma so we can have the child.” And our lawyers said it can’t be used because there is no way to prove who wrote it.”

“My nex narcissist’s new girlfriend made an entire blog. It’s bizarre. I plan to use it against them—if needed—and scan for things that might be helpful.”

“Social media can be used to show the character of the other party.”

“I used a post where he threatened to put out an Amber Alert AFTER he was notified we were fine by the police AND he had spoken to our child.”

“I plan to use the narcissist’s posts saying I am “the most loving and caring mother he could’ve ever picked for our kids.” Why? Because now he’s trying to claim otherwise out of spite. Go figure.”

“For our case, my lawyer said, I can use social media posts but can’t use any unoriginal posts, like a meme he shared. My lawyer informed me that it has to be something the individual wrote or it’s “hearsay.””

“I made an error using social media once. When there was a serial killer show on TV that went viral, I shared a meme that said the guy should have eaten my baby-daddy. It was allowed in court and used against me. But, it was thrown out as “hearsay.” It didn’t make me look good—that’s for sure.”

“I brought many screenshots of derogatory and untruthful posts by the narcissist about me into court. I mentioned all this, along with my other reasons for wanting the changes I was asking for, but the judge just made a blanket statement that neither of us “should be posting on social media about the other.””

“I was told that social media can be used, just make sure to capture the actual date it was posted.”

“In my husband’s case, he submitted a screenshot from his nex’s Facebook from when she sent his daughters to their father-daughter dance with her new boyfriend—without ever telling him about it so he couldn’t be there. He also has a screenshot of a text from his oldest daughter alluding that there was more than one of these dances over the past few years, and expressing that she’s angry with him for not being there for them, but grateful mom’s boyfriend was.
He hasn’t been to court yet but his lawyer thinks it’s a slam dunk to prove alienation with everything else they have.”

“My judge just told us to “get along” after seeing my ex call me every name in the book on social media. Seems like some judges don’t care about mental and emotional abuse.”

If you dare to use social media, I invite you to join my private Facebook groups below (from a well-protected Fb account or a created account that safeguards your custody case: (I post tips, tools, and strategies.)

USER-WARNING: Social media was used against me in my family court custody battle (at trial). So, please be smart about using this and very cautious.

Moms in Custody Battles with Narcissists
Co-Parenting with a Narcissist – Wisdom for Moms

Survivor Mom Tip: Just assume that social media will be used against you (as you probably already know a narcissist can (is very capable) of twisting and turning all kinds of things against us). This way, you don’t have details or evidence he can use against you to show whatever he is trying to create in people’s minds!

On my social media private Facebook groups, I have had to make restrictions for members (besides my posted Facebook group rules) to attempt to keep other mom’s custody cases safe. But, remember, there are no guarantees for anonymity or safety. Prior to my new way of hosting my groups, many moms commented to encourage each-other but then sometimes shared their sensitive case details in the comments. It was so much work to read through and have to delete comments. By then, that information was already out there on the web.

NOTE: If you do not post anonymously on my groups, you will get this declined message from my admin team with feedback saying…

[“Hi! Please repost this anonymously to the group for encouragement, resource links and support. Grace, our host, author & coach, had social media used against her in family court. So, she works hard to protect other moms from the same thing. Reach out to her if you need 1:1 private coaching calls. Thanks for being a mom-member with us!”]

FYI: For me to be safe on social media, keep safe, and protect myself, I write and speak in a pen-author-name.

As many of you know I had to restructure the private Facebook group because moms were posting direct advice and their custody case details in comments. As of now, anonymous comments are not an available feature of Facebook yet. We hope this option becomes available someday so that we can change our group rules. Currently, with thousands of struggling moms we can’t keep track and monitor every post and comment.

My goal is to give you encouragement, and resource links to get support—with reminders to use tools, tips, and wisdom so that you can have a better outcome when co-parenting with a narcissist. I hope that some of the encouragement you get and the knowledge that you are not alone can keep you going to be the best mom you can be (even in awful circumstances such as being required to co-parent with a narcissist or in a custody battle).

Please know that you are not alone. My mission is to help support loving, caring, motivated, mothers who are forced to co-parent with a narcissist to maintain her sanity, safe/safeguard their custody cases, and enjoy our children’s one-and-only childhood. Through teaching skillful means method and thinking about of navigating around the narcissist (and neutralizing the narcissist), sharing my story (to validate what you might be experiencing), and writing down effective tips, tools, and strategies that I used successfully(find these in my books, videos, and blogs) . . . I aim to offer you wisdom and the hope that you can improve a bad co-parenting situation and conditions. Even if just a little bit. Every little bit of light and sunshine can help a dark situation. After going through all of this myself, I believe we can come out smarter and stronger than before. Through all the pain and trials, we certainly can become wiser and more aware—and not just go through this, but grow through this!
— Grace W. Wroldson

What happened in my custody case with social media?
In my case, the narcissist’s high-powered lawyer used a GoFundMe post that a friend made for my medical travel costs to cover some of my travel to the specialists for my disability. This was then shared on social media, mainly Facebook. Yes, they attempted to use my newly diagnosed genetic disorder and disability against me. How? Well, one of the pictures on the GoFundMe which was from a few years ago had a picture of me and our child at Thanksgiving. They tried to paint a picture of me as a mom using my child to extort money from others and project my condition onto the child with their absurd “Munchausen Syndrome by proxy” claim. The picture was blown up as large as a page and was taken as evidence. I watched in horror as the judge put it in the front of the binder of evidence on his desk. I never know to this day if the picture helped the judge see me as a loving mom and allow me to keep 50% physical custody while he stripped me of all legal rights or not that year. If you read my full story, I later had to go back to court with a different/better lawyer and prove it was all a lie and get all my rights reinstated. So, don’t underestimate how low a narcissist (and his lawyer) will go. Evidence that can support you can also be twisted and used against you with a clever unethical attorney. Consider this a warning. Sure, I may have received $700 from loving caring helpful people in my community (before shutting the page down that day) but it may have cost me $7,000 on legal fees for 4 years and so much trauma to my child when he switched her school out of town after losing all my legal rights to my only child (who I was trying to protect from her alcoholic father).

Using Social Media for Support, Advice, and Guidance?

It’s not wise to rely solely on social media as your only source of support. When we are up against a narcissist (whether co-parenting or a custody battle), there are usually so many problems. Many of us use the web and social media for advice. But, be careful not to take direct advice from someone who isn’t your attorney and knows the full details of your custody case. Whatever you do, (or don’t do), all your actions need to be part of your lawyer’s strategic plan. Taking advice from a well-meaning mom who is just trying to help and has only been through her custody battle with her ex, might cause more harm than good.

I care about what you are going through. I understand the serious need for support. Unfortunately, as an author of my own life story and certified life coach my private Facebook groups or social media platforms can’t provide crisis support services. My admin are not trained professionals. I urge you to please reach out to your local, professional support centers or call the national hotlines.

Strong suggestion: I encourage you to seek/get help and not rely on social media for your only source of support or venting. Take care of yourself by prioritizing your need for help, guidance, and therapy. I believe that getting support is a sign of strength, not weakness. Be sure that the support you get is safe for your custody case which is why I always recommend having a good family law attorney as part of your support team. Please know that you don’t have to do this alone! I had a team of 10 established to take my calls to help me hold onto my emotional sobriety. Learn about this in my first book, Co-Parenting with a Narcissist: 7 Self-Rules to Stay Sane

Need to talk to someone? Specialists are available for confidential telephone counseling.
American Psychological Association Crisis Hotlines
https://www.apa.org/topics/crisis-hotlines

Bottom Line: Don’t rely on social media as your only source of support and for emergency advice.

HELPFUL BOOKS FOR MOMS:
Hang on and have hope! I write for moms who are required to co-parent and/or stuck in a high-conflict, custody battle with a narcissist. If this is you, you are not alone! I work with moms in 1:1 strategy sessions to develop sustainable strategies. I teach my 2 strategies/methods of 1. “Skillful-Means” and 2. “Grey-Walling” to establish peace and protection.
My books can validate what you might be experiencing and give you creative ways to improve your co-parenting conditions. In my books, I include all of my tips, tools, and strategies for moms to grab onto like life rafts. Sometimes, it’s solely about survival and staying afloat.
I believe that there are healthy attitudes we can adopt, mindsets to make solid, sanity to hold onto, as well as, beneficial perspectives to take that can help us to endure this dilemma and survive a custody battle. We can learn to use what I call “skillful-means” and strategies to navigate and neutralize the narcissist. (Find my video program!)
Learn all you can from my “survivor-wisdom” because knowledge is power! Let my chapters be “story medicine” for you on your healing journey from narcissistic abuse or post-separation abuse. My goal is to leave you with tidbits of wisdom with lots of encouragement. Know that you can endure this (with support) and be resilient in the face of the many challenges when dealing with a narcissist. The truth is that… our love for our child/children is bigger than the narcissist!
Believe in yourself as a mom. Remember to learn the valuable lessons in all the pain and problems and come out of this smarter and stronger than before!
Like me, you can: 1. Outgrow the narcissist, 2. Become immune to his attacks, and 3. Move on with your life—to thrive. Better yet, and so can our precious children.
Use wisdom. Lead with love.

—Grace W. Wroldson, Sur-Thriver, Mother, Author, Coach & Strategist

Book 1: Co-Parenting with a Narcissist: 7 Self-Rules to Stay Sane
Book 2: How To Fight a Narcissist In Family Court and Win
Book 3: Co-parenting with a Sociopath: Survival and Sanity Guide
Book 4: How To Survive a Custody Battle with a Narcissist: When the Family Courts Force You to Co-Parent
Book 5: (NEW) Tame the Narcissist!: 10 Keys for Better Co-parenting to Create Peace and Protection Using Strategy & Skillful-Means

*Disclaimer: These are helpful tips based solely on the author’s thoughts and opinions. The author is not a qualified mental health professional nor a crisis caseworker. She cannot give legal advice or appropriate counsel and is therefore not liable for any injury or harm. Please follow your doctor’s, therapist’s, counselor’s, and lawyer’s advice, as well as your own good common sense and intuition based on your unique case—to see if these tips could be helpful. Child custody situations may vary where some of these will not be applicable for your circumstance. Furthermore, court orders may dictate otherwise. Please use your own good judgment when watching this video or reading this document. This is for personal Self-Help only. These were created from the author’s own lived experience and not based on any laws or rules of the courts. This is copyright-protected by the author and is not to be sold, distributed, or quoted without the author’s written consent.

Navigate Around the Narcissist & Neutralize the Narcissistic Co-Parent W/ Skills

HERE IS MY: Navigate Around the Narcissist & Neutralize the Narcissist Video Program! Made just for moms.

  • Are you trying to co-parent with a narcissist? (Is it always a problem?)
  • Are you stuck in a high-conflict family court custody battle? (Does it never seem to end?)
  • Or worse…. Is the narcissist attempting to steal sole custody of your child? (Is the narcissist trying everything to get out of paying child support?)

 

“Hi,” Welcome to my work. I’m author Grace Wroldson and I am here to help you to,
Stop losing
Stop stressing
Start strategizing
Learn to navigate
I am here to tell you (because I have done this) that you can make a bad situation better for yourself and your children. Be sure to watch my video in this course on creating peace and maintaining your sanity! “If you are ready to learn, I am ready to teach!” This is my 11-Video Navigate the Narcissist Course.
I, personally, know how challenging and awful this can be. I am the author of several self-help books (with lots of tips, tools, and strategies included) for moms dealing with narcissists,

Pick up my . . .
Book 1: Co-Parenting with a Narcissist: 7 Self-Rules to Stay Sane
Book 2: How To Fight a Narcissist In Family Court and Win
Book 3: Co-parenting with a Sociopath: Survival and Sanity Guide
Book 4: How To Survive a Custody Battle with a Narcissist: When the Family Courts Force You to Co-Parent
*Available at Amazon*
The KEY skill that’s needed for the peace you crave is . . .Learn to navigate around the narcissist!

This means skillfully, wisely, and purposefully. Thinking both short-term and long-term using common sense, logic, understanding, and knowledge of narcissists. No, this program is not about attacking the narcissist back. My course doesn’t say defeat, annihilate, destroy, or slay a narcissist… it says NAVIGATE, which is more skillful and offers a chance at peace and goodwill for you and your children!
The peace and cooperation that I have today that I want your family to enjoy. I used skillful means and there was less of a battle and less stress!
We have to learn to co-exist. (Hard fact and truth.)
If you are a mom in this very tough situation, you will have to do many difficult things including standing up for yourself, your rights, your child, and your child’s rights. It’s not easy to do with a narcissist!
I am here to offer some emotional encouragement, hand & heart holding, wisdom, tips, tools, and effective strategies that can be employed with an attorney (who is competent and onboard). I aim to be a light in the darkness and stress of this unfair dilemma.

It comes down to doing these 3 KEY things to improve conditions and get better outcomes:

1. Navigating the complex, inadequate family court system
2. Navigating the nasty narcissist
3. Navigating your fears and trauma

When I went through this, the hardest part was facing my fears, stopping/taming my natural emotional reactions to child abuse and neglect that would destabilize me mentally, and finding support people to strategize with who really understood.
Pick up one of my helpful books.

I write for moms forced to co-parent with narcissists and stuck in high-conflict custody battles so they don’t have to feel so alone, can be validated in what they are experiencing, and improve their co-parenting conditions. May you learn, heal, and grow through this! And then come out stronger than before!
Read, watch, and learn — all that you can! Knowledge is power. Take your power back.”

xo- Grace Wroldson – Author & Strategy Coach for Moms

Need helpful guidance by video?
“Want instant help and self-education on how to make a bad co-parenting situation with a narcissist better? Watch my new 6-week, 11-video course to get started with positive change. Designed for moms. My Navigate the Narcissist VIDEO Course is available. Watch at your own pace. (Learn to navigate around the narcissist and neutralize the narcissist.)”

Navigate the Narcissist 11-VIDEO Online Course
https://gracewroldson.thrivecart.com/navigate-the-narcissist-course/

Grace’s FREE NAVIGATE THE NARCISSIST CHECKLIST – VIA GOOGLE DRIVE:
FREE Check-List for Navigate the Narcissist VIDEO Course
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1G_J8aSkFe5sKQ8CuqkflZiSUdW-UeJ-Y/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=108699083669055263570&rtpof=true&sd=true

Learn to NAVIGATE around the Narcissist Video Course YouTube Introduction Video:
Short Introduction Video:

ANNOUNCEMENT TO PRIVATE FB GROUP MEMBERS:

Dear Brave Moms,

Facebook has changed some rules and are holding admins/mods accountable/responsible for posts and what is published to an extent. Community standards and guidelines have been added over the years.

The truth is venting and posting on fb groups isn’t the same as getting 1:1 support-planning and strategy for these serious child-related, legal issues. It took me working with the experts to endure this, survive, and not lose my child.

I care about all of you moms and the children you are trying to protect! You loving, caring moms have such good wisdom to offer each other. We truly need emotional encouragement to endure this and that’s why I recommend all moms get safe, professional support. (I had many support people.)

I held my private Facebook groups for moms for free, as an open forum for years. I did my best to try to keep this a safe place (deleting spammers and narcissists). I did my best to manually remove direct advice but still approve your posts so that you don’t feel ignored – even if you haven’t read the rules and are posting for advice (which we don’t allow).

We can’t be responsible for reading every single comment and it’s impossible to keep track of direct-advice-giving in the many comments which are not allowed or helpful. Most posts need legal advice which we can’t give. Some moms were mistakenly posting custody case details in their comments which could jeopardize their case. Did you know that dads often ask to join this mom’s Fb forum?

FYI: Please know that I had social media used against me in my custody trial and it went against me, which is why I work so hard to safeguard your custody case even if you aren’t in a family court battle now, you could be someday. This is why I implemented anonymous posting ONLY. I also had to create a rule of no screenshots or pictures. Narcissists use flying monkeys and spies so I am doing my best for you on this front. I hope you understand why I had to make a rule of not posting your custody details in the comments because there’s no anonymous commenting yet, and we can all look up each member and everything they have said in the comments of the group from the beginning of their time as a mom-member. Many of you are fearful of what the narcissist can discover about you—rightly so.
So, to help this group grow and be safe we will approve posts but an admin will post something hopefully helpful that directs you towards resources and educational materials that are relevant. Then, the admin of the group will turn commenting off. You are welcome to read similar mom-stories and still like, cry and care with the mom who are posting anonymously. This system of running the group makes for safer posts. Thanks for understanding.

NOTE: Each week we try to post a question that comes up often—for you to share your words of wisdom and comment on. Your voice does matter but make sure you use it safely if your children are young and vulnerable. We try to keep track of this 1 open post with “open-for-comments” to delete spammers. Please remember not to post your case or personal details. Don’t post anything that a narcissist could read and use (or enjoy knowing he is getting to you and upsetting your life).

It is important that you read and learn some things and not just use groups to vent. I have many FREE blogs you can read – if you can’t afford my books. I also have free videos on YouTube. And those of you who don’t know my story of staging a comeback and saving my custody case and child, can read my entire story in my 5 books for moms.

Social media like Facebook currently can’t be a crisis support group. Recently, we have had crisis posts on my mom’s groups. These moms urgently need to call the police and/or Domestic Violence Agencies (due to being raped at child-transfers), CPS (due to children being abused), and/ or their lawyer (or any lawyer) for the types of events occuring. My groups are not able to function as a reporting service or crisis service. (Often, when I am writing a new helpful blog or book, I am not on the group monitoring moms.) There are national numbers and hotlines for things of that nature. Please use those professional support services and not my Facebook groups.

Crisis hotlines and resources:
American Psychological Association  https://www.apa.org/topics/crisis-hotlines

Please know that I am here to provide my survivor-story, lessons learned, hope, and inspiration—NOT advice. Even in my 1:1 private strategy calls, I help moms find the supports they need and get organized. (I do not directly tell them what to do other than to get legal consultations, safe support, and healing from narcissistic abuse.) To endure, we need sanity, validation, stability, smarts, and a plan. This means being able to clearly articulate a strategy and write an ordered “TO DO LIST.” This means learning about our case and the narcissist. This means learning about ourselves and healing, changing, and growing. Knowledge is power. And we need to restore by getting help and self-help. I had a “team of 10” to get me through the first part of my saga with a narcissistic ex who I was required to co-parent with. Then, after years of my team burning out, I had to hire 3 expert coaches to get expert guidance. I wasn’t able to use opinions from well-meaning friends and caring family for my tricky case and complex situation. These cases are often too complex for people to understand the full dynamic and so tricky to navigate. Please find support people to talk with daily, weekly, monthly and yearly—depending on your level of need. Also, PLEASE take the time to learn, read, or watch a video to come out smarter and stronger than before.

I am in your corner!

xo- Grace

LET’S RECAP:

-> Be careful
-> Protect your custody case
-> Safeguard your info
-> Don’t vent/share your opinions, thoughts & feelings publicly
-> Have some boundaries with yourself
-> Set rules & limits (with yourself—first)
-> Eliminate weaknesses or what can be used against you as evidence in a potential family court custody trial or hearing

GetG

 

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